vendredi 14 septembre 2007

My homage to Jacques Martin

Good Kelkians and people who don't live in France:

Jacques Martin was a very popular TV man from the 70's through the middle of the 90's.

He died today and the media of course was all over his death.

I didn't like much his programs, I thought they were too cheesy (yeah, I don't like cheesy). But apparently he was capable of a more acid humor and I did not know that:

My homage is to translate what he's blabing about...

Pierre: Hum... Maryse... Look carefully at this. What do you see? What is it?

Maryse: It's a... um... a mini-curler?

Pierre: No Maryse! Look at it again. What else?

Maryse: Hihihi... I dunno... a... mini-rolling pin in paper? Hihihi

Pierre: Let's not joke about it. No no. It is some kind of cigarette. Bigger than a normal one. And it is closed at the two ends. It's a cigarette 100% natural that only contains herb.

Maryse: Herb?

Pierre: Oui, Maryse. A marvelous herb that is brought to us from Tunisia, Morocco, Algeria... A herb that is scrupulously selected by sales representatives that deliver it in France hidden in trucks or concealed in boat holds.

Maryse: So Pierre, if I follow you well, this kind of cigarettes is absolutely not harmful.

Pierre: Absolutely not Maryse. Moreover, we are going to prove it to our viewers: you are going to light one.

Maryse: But I don't smoke Pierre!

Pierre: But it is not tobacco! It is herb...

Maryse: If you say that it is not harmful at all...

Pierre: That's right. You will see. You won't feel no nausea at all. And you won't have... (lights a match) that unpleasant odor of chain smokers... (lights the spiff) there you go... I only advice you: inhale the smoke, keep it in your lungs as long as you can, an exhale only when you can't hold it.

Maryse: (Inhales, holds, exhales) Oh yeah...

Pierre: So... is it tobacco?

Maryse: No... hihihi

Pierre: Is it pleasant?

Maryse: Hihihihi...

Pierre: Do you have the taste of tobacco in the mouth?

Maryse: ...

Pierre: So now Maryse you are going to ask me: What is the use of this Pierre?

Maryse: What is the use of this Pierre?

Pierre: Very good question Maryse and I will answer that it's very useful! You can use it to clean your house everyday without complaining. To be able to bear your husband, no matter his mood, no matter how many years of marriage, the worries of life, the shit of every day life that you have to stand day to day, without feeling the stress that goes with it.

Maryse: Hahahahaha

Pierre: So I turn to you Maryse and I ask you, how do you find this herb? And you answer me...

Maryse: Hahahahaha !!! and I answer: it is goooood!!! it's good! it's good!!!


And for those who have been good, the bonus:

1 commentaire:

Senciz a dit…

R.I.P Jacques Martin...

Un petit best of si marrant !